stARTled Salmon

The stARTled Salmon encourages you -- or your band -- to contact us about hosting an event!  You will get to keep the majority of the profits, minus a small, token fee for use of our space (and possibly equipment).  Call 907-247-2787, or email us at jasonryancuster (AT) startledsalmon.com to put something together.

Please see our very simple guidelines below -- they follow a time-tested DIY (Do-It-Yourself) punk/hardcore formula that's been around since the 80s, and ensures safety, quality, and profit.  You will have to agree to them in order to host an event with us. 

We hope you'll find that running an event at the stARTled Salmon is extremely easy, and bypasses lots of the drama, confusion, and chaos that many folks associate with event planning.

Running a Show at the stARTled Salmon

The stARTled Salmon agrees to let you use it’s space on ______________________ for a total cost of __________________ for your event.  We will try our best to help provide you with the equipment and technical support you need -- please contact us about equipment in advance, so we can help you plan.

In return, you are required to follow some simple rules to help ensure the quality of your event.

Your Requirements:

1. FLIERS -- There must be a minimum of 2 full weeks of promotion, around town, with fliers.  Promoting through Myspace/Facebook/Sitnews/email is a great idea... however, you must also promote the event in the physical world with physical fliers.  Fliers must contain the following info:

WHAT:  (what your event is... who is performing, etc.)

WHEN:  day of the week, date, and start/end times

WHERE:  the stARTled Salmon, 500 Mission Street, Cape Fox Marketplace

COST:  (more on this below)

CONTACT:  Contact information, in case people have questions.  If need be, you can list our business phone number -- 247-2787

WEBSITE:  www.startledsalmon.com

1. COLLECT MONEY -- You are required to charge everyone equally for admission, and to see that there is a human being present -- at all times -- to collect money at the door.  It is your responsibility to find someone to collect money.  We do not permit a donations-only approach -- we require that you charge everyone the same price.  (If need be, you can “require a donation of at least $5.) A typical cost would be $5/person. Put up a $5 ADMISSION sign, and use a sharpie to mark the hands of each person, as they enter... this way, people who have paid can get back in.  During events, we keep one door locked, and one door unlocked, so that there is only one point of entry, and that everyone pays to get in.

1. RULES -- The rules are simple:  no drugs, no alcohol, no moshing.  These rules must be clearly posted at the door.  It is your job to see that these rules are followed.  Be prepared to tell someone their behavior is inappropriate for the event, and that they must either stop, or go elsewhere.  Dealing with problems and safety concerns is YOUR responsibility.  If you are unable to deal with troublemakers, we will respond by simply shutting the entire event down.

PLEASE NOTE:  The stARTled Salmon reserves the right to cancel your event if we feel you have not followed these simple guidelines.  This is to ensure that we maintain a reputation for safe, high-quality, well organized events.

SIGNED:_____________________________________________________________

FAQs

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Q:  Why these stupid rules?  Can’t I just do the event the way I want?  After all, I’m paying you, and I’ve run events before, and know what I’m doing...

A:  We require that everyone follows the same, simple guidelines to assure that events are well organized, safe, and successful.  We are as concerned with the quality of our events as we are with profits -- these guidelines help assure that everyone has a great time.  You may indeed be capable of filling our space to capacity merely by passing verbal invitations at the last minute... however, not everyone has this unique gift... and we must make requirements equal for everyone.

Q:  Why do I have to charge for admission?

A:  For a great many reasons.  

First of all, so you can make money by being creative.  

Secondly, so we are sure you don’t have any trouble paying our business for use of your space.  

Thirdly, you will find that requiring payment from everyone keeps out trouble-makers.  Fourthly, even if trouble-makers do pay to get in, they probably aren’t going to make trouble, because they don’t want to get kicked out and lose their $5.  

Fifthly, if trouble-makers do go so far as to pay to get in so they can do naughty things, other people at the event will be likely to stop them, because they won’t want the event to be ruined.  (After all, they all paid $5 to be there!)  

Sixthly, charging for admission helps encourage you to put on a serious, high-quality event.  

Seventhly -- the stARTled Salmon wants you to make money for being creative, and believes it is the community’s job to scrounge up cash to support the arts, the community, and YOU!

Q:  Can I limit the event to people under the age of 25?

A:  Sorry, that is discriminatory.

Q:  My friends don’t have any money.  We can’t afford to pay.  Why can’t we just let everyone in for free?

A:  I bet your friends pay to go to the movies, to eat pizza, to have a cell phone, etc.  Even if they have very little money, it isn’t very hard for them to save up $5 to come to your show.  If you put up fliers two weeks in advance, everyone serious about going had 2 weeks to save up the cash to attend.  $5 is about the cost of one of those new-fangled energy sodas, a fancy-schmancy coffee, or a cheap beer in a bar.  If your event isn’t worth the cost of a soda, or half of the cost of seeing Twlight, then dude -- we need to rethink this.

Q:  Why no moshing?  That’s bogus!

A:  Quite simply, because it is violent, and we don’t want it associated with our business.  We don’t want people hurt, don’t want to get sued, etc.  Yes, I’m thoroughly versed in the ethnography and history of moshing as a form of dance/expression, have been to umpteen million hardcore shows on the east coast and seen and appreciated some of the craziest floorpunching imaginable, and you’re right, no one died in any of those pits... but let’s face it... you’re not Madball, Coalesce, or H20, and most importantly:  NO MOSHING.  

Q:  Can you work the door for me?  I’m paying you guys!

A:  It is your job to work the door -- or to find someone to do it for you.  You are not paying for the stARTled Salmon to work the door. 

Q:  Can I use profanity?

A:  I do not care.  I am not going to censor your band.  Hopefully, everyone attending your show knows what to expect. 

Q:  Hi -- I’m 16.  My band wants to play a show, and our songs are about completely inappropriate and grotesquely sexual subject matter.  Can we play?

A:  Hi -- I have just called the Office of Child Services.

Q:  But you said you wouldn’t censor us!!!!
A:  Sorry -- child pornography is extremely illegal, and I find it appallingly sad.

Q:  Can you put up fliers for me?  I AM PAYING YOU!!!

A:  I might be willing to help put up some... and I’ll definitely add your event info to our website’s list of events... but it is your responsibility to put up fliers.  You are not paying the stARTled Salmon to promote your event.

Q:  This isn’t how things use to be!  We didn’t have to pay to have events here!  We used to be able to use any guitar we wanted!  A year ago, we didn’t have to put up fliers two weeks ahead of time!

A:  You’re right -- times have changed.  Currently, we have basic rules to ensure safety, quality of events, and that everyone is treated equally.  Also, to ensure that you make money at your event! 

Q:  I read your rules, and I wanted to try to negotiate and see if...

A:  Sorry, the rules are non-negotiable.  If this is hard to swallow, well, we realize this place may not be a good match for everyone with an idea for an event.  However, we’d like to think that our very simple rules help make it an awesome, safe, profitable choice for most people who want to run creative events!

Q:  I tried to set up an event in the past, but it never happened, either because I cancelled it on you at the absolute last second, or else because I didn’t do the minimum 2 weeks promotion with fliers, and you shut the event down.   Can I try to do another one?

A:  I am afraid I will have to respectfully decline your request.